


Yellow.

by hideonjongin



Series: Aren't flowers pretty enough to kill? [1]
Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, One-Sided Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hideonjongin/pseuds/hideonjongin
Summary: Because he never expected more from him, he never asked for his feelings to be returned, for his love to be reciprocated. Changdong was aware such thing would never happen, not in this lifetime at least and he was okay with that.
Relationships: Kim "Canna" Chang-dong/Moon "Cuzz" Woo-chan
Series: Aren't flowers pretty enough to kill? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765645
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Yellow.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello from the other side, world. It's me, shitposter #1384932 kasjdaskjd I made another Cannuzz because I love them but I made it sad this time and don't hate me, I'm an angst lover I can't help myself, i'm sO SORRY. (not really tho)
> 
> So the past 12 of May I reached the mark of 1 year writing, yep it's been a year since I started writing for my fave otps in the lck world, I did it because no one was writing about shyker like wHY buuut I keep going and suddenly Tehends came to my life and I HAD to write for them and now Cannuzz is taking over me and I'm happY.
> 
> I made all of this for fun, I love shipping people and creating scenarios inside my head for them so as long as i find it fun to do and my head keeps popping ideas I'll be here, you have been wARNED.
> 
> I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone that reads, leaves a comment and kudos on my stories, I'm not the best writer, english is not my native language but I trY my best for every piece I write and pour my heart and soul on it so knowing you guys enjoy them always ALWAYS makes me the happiest ever.
> 
> I'd be nothing with you all support, I always say it but I love you guys and I'm really thankful for all the love you guys gives me.
> 
> For more years writing more shitty fics to come!

If people asked him why would you fall in love with someone that clearly would never return your feelings, Changdong would say he didn’t understand it either.

But love was weird, everyone wanted to feel it, to experience it, to live it but as soon it didn’t turn out the way they wanted to, everyone hated it and wanted nothing to do with it ever again.

It came as a wave to him, as something he didn’t ask for but showed up at his door and he couldn’t keep it away. It came as rain in the middle of a drought, unexpected and intoxicating.

Black eyes, dark hair, short height with cute expressions and the most adorable smile he had ever seen. The bubbliest person he knew, with the most unproblematic and calm dementor, funny and charismatic, pretty hands and even prettier soul.

For him, it was love.

It was nothing for Woochan.

Fireworks exploded inside Changdong’s heart but nothing happened inside Woochan’s, not even a little sparkle.

It was funny how something as ordinary as a first meeting could mean the world to someone and nothing more than another day in their lives to another.

Loving Woochan felt like a day in the middle of Summer with the sun tickling your skin and eating the best ice cream you could get, therefore it didn't come as a surprise to him when he coughed sunflowers one morning after realizing he was in love with the shorter man, anyone could fall in love with someone like him, it was normal he was just another one in the sea of people that couldn’t have Woochan as more than a friend.

Sunflowers followed the sun whenever it went just like he did with the other man.

Changdong looked at the yellow petals on his hands, stained with blood and the reminder that the person he loved didn't love him back heavy on them.

Leaning his head against the wall behind him, Changdong closed his eyes and let a humorless laugh escape from between his lips, he should have known this would happen, he knew but still couldn't do anything about it.

Not when being in love with Woochan came as a second nature to him, it was like breathing, like picking your favorite dessert over something new, it was easy and unstoppable.

He took a deep breath before standing up and flushing the petals down the toilet, washing his hands he stared at his reflection on the mirror. The bags under his eyes and how lifeless his face seemed scared him a bit.

Love was weird as much as it was scary, much more for people like him suffering from an one-sided love.

He needed to get surgery for the flowers that were slowly but steadily suffocating him to death, he knew he needed it every time he coughed and more and more petals came out his mouth and how difficult it was becoming to take a breath nowadays.

"You know you have to." Ellim's voice startled him for a second, making him flinch a little. They both knew what he was talking about.

Changdong washed his mouth and turned around to look at his best friend, silence filling the bathroom until he spoke again, his own voice more raspy and deep than his normal one. His throat aching as much as his chest.

"No." Was the only answer he gave, Ellim's jaw clenching instantaneously. They had this conversation a million times before and Changdong felt exhausted already.

"I don't understand, for God's sake, Changdong you're fucking dying." The shorter man hissed, the vein on his forehead that popped when he was stressed out of his mind was starting to show.

The taller man didn't say anything because he knew, he knew his lungs were soon to start failing, the yellow flowers growing inside them were fast and mortal, he knew too well, the doctor urging him to take them out as soon as possible.

Changdong knew but. "Have you ever been in love, Ellim?" he asked softly, waiting patiently for his friend to answer, the other man's face showing his confusion immediately but he shook his head, no, he hasn't.

The taller male just smiled at him and it created a deep feeling of emptiness inside Ellim's stomach, he never saw his friend like this, so fragile and broken, he never saw a sadder smile like the one Changdong was wearing in that moment. "I don't want to forget him, Ellim-ah." his voice was inhumanly low and tiny, it broke Ellim's own heart.

"I know but you have–"

"I already booked a date for the surgery." The interruption made Ellim go silent in a heartbeat. "But I don't want it, I want to remember him, Ellim, and I'm so fucking scared." Changdong's eyes filled with unshared tears, his heart heavy inside his ribcage.

"I know, man, I know."

* * *

Changdong threw his backpack on his shoulder and walked out of his room, it was almost winter and the season had officially ended, everyone got some time to visit their families before Worlds started and they were leaving that day, it has been almost a month since his talk with Ellim and today was his scheduled date for his surgery, he was still scared to the core.

He stopped in the middle of the corridor to the living room and closed his eyes, he needed this, he reminded himself, he wanted to live, he wanted to keep playing, he—

"Changdongie are you already going home?"

Changdong opened his eyes as fast as it was humanly possible. Standing there, In front of him was Woochan, his heart falling empty on his stomach, the grip on the lace of his backpack making his knuckles going white.

He looked so handsome in his casual clothes, his hair hardly brushed and his eyes shining so brightly it was almost blinding.

Woochan was smiling at him and Changdong wanted to remember this forever.

His face, how soft he looked, the perfume he used and how much he loved it, the corners of his mouth and how adorable he found them. The way he felt so at peace when he was with him and that he could do anything. The height difference he liked a bit too much and thought it was perfect for hugs.

He wanted to remember the man standing in front of him, all the memories they had created and this moment. How the sunrise coming through the window was countering the side of the smaller man's face, the way his lips curled and his eyes were almost closing while smiling. He wanted to remember the feeling of being in love, the fireworks exploding inside his chest and the bubbly sensation of having his hyung’s attention on him.

It felt like summer in the middle of autumn and he prayed to the heavens, to show them how much he yearned to remember this moment, how he didn't want to forget the other man and everything related to him, his feelings, his memories, everything.

The voice of his doctor at the back of his head repeating again and again how he will only remember his first encounter with the person his affections were on, if he was lucky enough maybe one or two memories they had together and how he would never be able to fall in love with said person again; it was a risky surgery not only because getting flowers out of his lungs was difficult but because every single memory of the other person would fade away making nothing but a stranger the person he once loved.

Changdong wanted to yell, wanted to live, wanted to keep loving Woochan, he wanted to keep the memory of loving someone so much and how happy he was to just exist in the same timeline as the other man, to had be able to meet him, how lucky he was to be here, looking at him and knowing he would never love someone else as much as he loved Moon Woochan.

Because he never expected more from him, he never asked for his feelings to be returned, for his love to be reciprocated. Changdong was aware such thing would never happen, not in this lifetime at least and he was okay with that. He was perfectly fine loving him on the sidelines, quietly, unconditionally. He was happy like this, being by his side, watching him be happy and creating memories that maybe weren't too special to the shorter man but to him it meant the entire galaxy.

So he prayed again for this moment to last forever, for time to be stopped and stay right there, staring at him and be able to memorice every single detail from him and remember it for eternity.

"I'm going home, hyung."

* * *

Changdong loved yellow because it reminded him of a lot of things he loved.

The truck his mother gave him for his 3rd birthday, the package of his favorite snack, his first gaming mouse had it, the raincoats he and his sister wore when they went out to play on the rain, the sun caressing lightly his skin, summer and sunflowers.

It also reminded him of his favorite person and how much yellow could describe him; warm, lively, funny, lovely, beautiful, dreamy.

Yellow reminded him of the summer the team went to Jeju for a workshop and everyone was inside the water at the nearest beach but Woochan and him stayed back to sit down on the sand and laugh at their teammates and their antics, how he turned his head to the man by his side and everything made a click, realizing how deeply he had fallen in love with him, how beautiful he looked there just existing, breathing, smiling with the sun tanning more his already tanned skin.

Woochan turned his own head to look at him, putting a hand above his eyes to cover them from the sun behind Changdong and smiled at him.

Yellow was a constant reminder of the day he realized the shorter man was the person he wanted to love for the rest of his life even if those feelings were not reciprocated.

Tears fell free as the doctor put him a mask on his face and told him to count down from 10 for the anesthesia to work.

  1. I love yellow and how much Woochan thinks is a melancholy color.



  1. I love when Woochan hyung smiles at me and I feel I could do anything.



  1. I love his bad jokes and how much I want to keep hearing them.



  1. I love when he would whisper in my ear a secret that stays just between us.



  1. I love how clumsy he is.



  1. I love his eyes behind his round glasses and without them too.



  1. I love how it seems all the stars in the sky shine solemnly for him.



  1. I love how he takes care of me.



  1. I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him.



  1. I want to remember, I want to keep loving him, I—



* * *

Love was a strange concept to him, it was one of the most powerful emotions a human can feel yet it was extremely fragile, it could last centuries or simply disappear in a few days. It was like a flower, it needed care and patience to keep it alive, to make it grow and make it last the most you could until it had to die as all things in this world do at some point.

Changdong looked up from his phone, his teammates laughing at something their coach said, everyone was there but one person he noticed. Jinseong elbowed one of his sides asking him if he wanted to come with him and grab something from the cafeteria, he nodded and left the room with the older man.

In the middle of their way to their destination they found their lost teammate, he was laughing and holding hands with his long term boyfriend, Rascal.

Blinking his eyes a few times Changdong looked at them, it felt weird to look at a couple minding their own business but he couldn't help himself, his eyes falling on the shorter man.

It was quite strange how much Woochan reminded him of his favorite color, bright and shiny, of the sun in the middle of a summer day.

He looked away and kept walking but for some reason the heavy feeling of melancholy at the tip of his stomach and the easiness to breathe made him feel sick.

Loving someone was weird but Changdong wouldn't know, he had never been in love before.

**Author's Note:**

> cHANGDONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I'M SORRY I BROKE ALL OF YOUR HEARTS BUT I BREATH ANGST AND YOU GUYS HAVE TO TAKE IT.
> 
> WARNING: I'm thinking of making a new series with this hanahaki!au because I love it and yes, prepare yourself for more otps being destroyed here. uwu
> 
> P.S.: I want to thank Coldplay for releasing Yellow and giving this fanfic a boost in inspiration to be written and it's name!


End file.
